Prove Yourself

Prove: to demonstrate the truth or existence of (something) by evidence or argument. The topic of this post came to me as I went past a bus. I found myself thinking about bus fares and my little brother. My little brother is in Year 10 and clearly at school in full time education. He also does not have a bus pass. Repeatedly he is told that he needs to prove that he is able to get a students fee for the bus by getting a bus pass, despite the fact that he is clearly in full time education as law requires. I find myself bewildered about this as I find that we are constantly having to prove ourselves. As the legal age for leaving full time education is being raised to 18 I can see so many contradictory situations occurring. People who are clearly under 18 having to pay full fare on buses as they can't prove they are under 18 but then having to prove they are over 18 to vote, watch certain films, buy alcohol e.t.c. We live in a society where we are constantly having to prove ourselves.

Then there is proving out capabilities, our gifting. Take education for an example. The current teaching system in this country isn't here (in my opinion) anymore to teach people but to tick boxes. To send children through the processor and tick boxes on the way. When was the last time I used most of what I was taught at school? In my exams. I was taught what I was taught to pass exams, which I had to pass to prove... well to prove what? That I can regurgitate plain data, process dead facts? When were we last taught to live life? Why aren't we taught to live life?Apologies I appear to digress.
Exams are there for us to prove what we have been taught, our ability to learn and process, which I completely agree with but I feel has been taken out of control. Young people are being pressured to prove that they are capable of this high "perfect" target of passing GCSE's, passing A-Levels, going to University, getting a degree, getting a job...... Each level demanding a higher level of proof of our capabilities. I understand this and I feel that it can be positive to challenge ourselves to a higher level but I feel that this process is no longer positive. At least not for a lot of people. If we fail to prove ourselves at one level of this ladder of life then we are disproved i.e. we fail.

I suppose what this post is gearing towards is rebellion against the constant need to prove ourselves. It's tiring and de-humanising. We spend so much time having to prove ourselves that we forget to live. We forget to do the things because we enjoy them or because they are good. We need to find those things that don't always require proof. Let me take a personal example: I play the clarinet and whilst I was at school I had lessons for it. I did a couple of grades and then I got sick of them. I said to my teacher "I don't want to do grades any more." So we stopped doing grades. Did I stop learning to play the clarinet? No. In fact if anything, I started to learn to play the clarinet. I learnt to play the clarinet so I could play the clarinet. Some weeks I would make very little progress, some weeks I made lots of progress but I was learning to play an instrument. Now when I say to you "I play the clarinet" I don't have anything on me to prove it. In fact at this moment in time I don't even own a clarinet. However I can play the clarinet and I don't need to prove that to anyone.

On the other hand I acknowledge that "faith without deeds is dead". We do need an outwards manifestation of the internal knowledge/ faith/ belief/ conviction or it is truly dead. Evidence of our abilities and gifts are visible naturally and it is good to encourage these. Otherwise they will wither and die. Yet I still feel that the level of demand for proof we have in this society is unhealthy. We are constantly driven to higher targets by this need to prove ourselves and that is what it simmers down to. This constant pressure to prove ourselves before everyone. Everyone and God.

 That is where I struggle the most. The pressure to prove ourselves  before everyone has spilled over, infected even, our spirituality. I find myself before God constantly trying to prove myself in spite of those echoing words that resonate in my heart "It. Is. Finished." The last words on my position before God. I spend so much of my time trying to please everyone and God that I forget to just enjoy being with Him and enjoying being who I am called to be. This is not to say that I shouldn't aspire or become filled with hope for change but that I should be pleased with who I am in Christ. God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and End. He is the first and final word on who I am.