Choices, choices, choices......

What makes something a choice? What is choice and what is predisposed? The other day I had a long and somewhat fruitless conversation with a friend regarding predisposition and free will. This was discussed from both the psychological view of it and the theological view of it. Now I say fruitless conversation because there were no measurable or engaging conclusions. There was no discernable information gleaned that would affect us or anyone in the world.
However it did get the mind juices flowing and allow me to reflect on myself a bit more. It appears that God in His infinite wisdom has formed me with several characteristics, predispositions or conditions that are discussed and argued in society as choices or not. The two big ones are sexuality and depression. Weirdly enough I did not choose to be gay, nor did I choose to have depression. Yet there does appear to be a persistent mind set that it is a choice. So when people engage with me with the mind set that these are a choice the conversation doesn't move very easily due to the assumptions that are present. "so when did you choose to be gay?" "can't you just fancy women instead?" "why don't you just cheer up?" "why don't you choose to think happy things and notice the good things instead?". Trust me if I could, I would.
Beyond this there is still choice within all of this. We all have the choice to follow our predispositions or not. However it is incredibly tiring, difficult and sometimes damaging to go against these. For me to deny my sexuality and my feminine tendencies is a major trigger for my depression. I can still choose whether or not to chase after guys, but I can't choose to be attracted to them or the things that come with the territory. With my depression I cant choose when or how strongly my mood will alter or my anxieties will be. But I can choose the activities I do and the people who I surround myself with. So please acknowledge that there is a lot of me that is not a choice so don't assume that it is when we start those conversations. However also please acknowledge that it is a choice that I include you in my conversations and in my life so respect that. I may not have a choice about my sexuality and my depression but you have a choice as to whether or not you're a dick. Please choose wisely.